hunting the good stuff: mother’s day edition

Over the last two and a half years, as most of you know, I entered the chapter of my life I endearingly call “instamommyhood.” When Jeremy chose me to be his bride in 2015, he not only chose me to be his wife, but also the stepmother to his children. I do not take that responsibility lightly and am astonished that he saw the gift of motherhood inside of me long before I felt it and has called it out and cultivated it from the very beginning.

From first meeting Jeremiah and Lilly to getting to know them on a personal level, I expected the easy stuff: Jeremiah’s favorite NFL quarterbacks and memorizing all the words to the newest princess movies. However, I was in no way prepared for the marathon course I would be taking where the contents of the syllabus were never fully outlined and they happened to be slightly more significant than Tony Romo and Moana.

I believe in “hunting the good stuff.” I first heard this quote in the Army doing some training in resiliency, but I do not believe it is reserved only for Army use. It is very simply a compact reminder to practice gratitude and be intentional to look for the positives, to see the blessings in our lives. This thing called life is not always easy. If yours is, please comment below with your secret! During this journey of stepmotherhood, life has asked me some hard questions. God has given me opportunity after opportunity to choose Him, to choose His way, and to honor Him along the journey.

Today, on Mother’s Day, I am eternally grateful for Jeremy’s choice to make me a stepmother and the two cuties who have taught me more about the depths of my character than any other season in my life. I’ve decided to share my top four truly significant life lessons I’ve learned these last two years.

1. The “world” does not get to decide what my life looks like. I have seen more photo stories of blended families on social media than I care to admit. The choice to cast the stepmom as the antagonist is just too easy. The world may continue using the adjective “evil” closer to the word “stepmother” than I would like. Let’s be real. The moving pieces of our family dynamic are not always hunky dory. But guess what? Pressure is off for me. I do not control any of those pieces of our pop culture or the people within our specific situation. However, every day I have choices. How will I conduct myself? How will I respond to others? How will I invest in the relationships around me? I hold all the control because I decide how I respond to what the “world” says about blended families. Every day, I am reminded that God has placed me specifically in this place for this time. I have been given the distinct honor of showcasing His love in a unique way within our blended family. What does the world say about you? And what do you say back?
2. My title does not determine my influence. We each play so many roles throughout the day. Daughters, sons, chauffeur, moms, dads, friends, nurses, teachers, co-workers, comforters, spouses, counselors… As I transition from spouse to nurse to stepmom to daughter throughout the day, I always have a choice. I can fully engage with Jeremy before he leaves for work or be completely distracted by the day’s to-do list. (*My title still remains. I am a wife.) I can listen intently to my chronically ill patient’s wife as she describes her struggle watching her 40 year old husband die before her eyes or I can simply hand her the long list of appointments I’ve set up and send her on her way. (*My title still remains. I am a nurse.) I can come home and chase Lilly around the house for the 4,763th time or I can lay on the couch to watch home improvement shows and listen to her calling me in the background, pretending not to hear. (*My title still remains. I am a stepmom.) Regardless of what your earthly name is, whether it be barista or CEO or sanitation engineer or program manager, your influence is not defined by those WORDS. There is not a predefined boundary around the impact you will have based on the title the world has given to you. The titles will come and go, but the calling on the inside of you will not. The legacy you are making and leaving for others is forever, regardless of what other people may call you.
3. Losing my vision is not an option. I am “that” girl who likes to make lists at the beginning of each year. I like goals – professional goals, travel/entertainment goals, all types of goals. I like to have a vision for the upcoming 365 days. Similarly, when Jeremy and I got married, we each got a vision for what God wanted for our marriage. There are so many times I get caught up in the moment and overwhelmed by the “now.” I lose sight of the promises for our family because I look around too much instead gazing ahead. Did you know you can live in the moment while simultaneously keeping our eyes on the vision God has for our lives? All I’m saying is: Keep going. KEEP GOING in whatever challenge you’re facing. I tell those closest to me that life is really like hiking up a mountain for me. I absolutely want the breathtaking view from the top, but you might hear me say I’m hungry or I have a blister on my left toe or I wish I had brought more water. However, that does not mean I am giving up or wishing I never started walking. It just means I need a granola bar, a water bottle, and some ibuprofen until we reach where we are headed. I ain’t quitting until we get {there}. And when we do, there WILL be a party…or at least a lot of food. 🙂
4. Love is a choice. Let me leave you with this. This has been the most profound, but simple lesson I have learned from Jeremiah and Lilly. The pressure is really off for a stepmom. I feel like the world has defined some (often unfair and sometimes ridiculous) expectations for mothers and fathers. “Children should only have 1.25654 minutes of screen time per day. If children do not eat broccoli by age 3, they will never grow to be 4 feet tall. Seven year olds need approximately 4.5 hugs per day or they may grow up to feel unloved.” Forgive me. I’m exaggerating for the sake of making my point. (*I am in NO way minimizing the importance of books, vegetables, or physical touch. Promise.)  I’m simply saying I get to make this stepmom season my own. I get to define my “stepmommyhood.” I get to be a pioneer of sorts. No family is exactly like our family so that means I get to walk out the choice of love in front of two impressionable children. I can be as present and available and consistent as I desire. And those choices – to be present, to be available, and to be consistent — I pray they will communicate my love and be sown deeply into two children who, one day, will get the same choice in their own lives.

Happy Mother’s Day! I pray you’ve also been able to reflect on the blessings your biological or spiritual or adopted children have brought to your life. Regardless of how they arrived, you are connected for a purpose much greater.

highlight reel 2016: the year of momentum

Last year, I was inspired by Sports Center’s Top Ten Plays of the Day to do the highlight reel of our year in 2015. I am continuing the tradition! Here is the highlight reel for 2016 that I’ve entitled the “year of momentum.” Jeremy and I made a lot of progress in marriage, as parents, and with our own personal goals. Do not be deceived. Our year was not without challenges, conflict, and disappointment. However, as we sit at the end of the last 365 days, we see God’s goodness, His hand over our lives, and how He has victoriously propelled us into this next chapter. We are incredibly blessed! For those of you who have been awaiting an update, wait no longer! **The ten highlights below are not in any order of importance, but more a cumulative list of greatness from our year. 

# 10: Seeing some of our very closest friends and family find the loves of their life and helping to celebrate their wedding days. We have always been blessed to have the very best people surrounding us on this journey. Nothing quite fills our hearts more than seeing those same people at their happiest! We love ALL of you tons and are thankful for the adventures we were able to have surrounding your big day!

#9: Working towards our educational goals. Our lives are what I like to call “full” these days. Others might call it….busy. Jeremy continues to pursue his degree in Investigative Forensics/Criminal Justice and I started George Mason’s Master’s Family Nurse Practitioner Program. Stay tuned: Jeremy will finish up this year and there WILL be a party for all of his hard work!

#8: Nags Head with Jeremiah and Lilly. If you ask my mom, she will gladly tell you that as a child, I would begin packing for our family vacation months in advance because I just couldn’t contain my excitement! This vacation was no different and it did not disappoint! My absolute favorite memories from this year are having all of us together as a family of four. As I’m sure you can imagine, one of the biggest challenges of a blended family is getting us in the same place at the same time. It takes quite a bit of coordination and collaboration, but these moments are worth every ounce of effort! From kite flying to Duck Donuts to all-day beach sessions to wiffleball to mini-golf – the sweetness of time with Nana, Papa, and Uncle Ben was priceless.

#7: Jeremy and I setting our foundation. These last two years have flown by, but the importance of prioritizing each other in the midst of our busyness has been pivotal to our growth. In case you were wondering, having children as you step into marriage is TOUGH. There is no sugar-coating the hard work of intentionality with which Jeremy and I must use to invest in our relationship as husband and wife. We are celebrating the progress we have made in learning each other as well as ensuring we have special moments together. *Of note, this is not unique to the two of us. If you’re married, you gotta do it too!

#6: Father/Daughter time for Lilly and Jeremy. Having a blended family has it’s unique challenges. In every case, it is not the desire of both parties for the child to have equal time between each parent. This year brought us victory in in the area of guaranteed time with sweet Lilly. As Jeremy works to complete his degree, we decided there would be invaluable benefit for him to remain at home with her during the day for the majority of this year. That was probably the best decision we made all year. Seeing this relationship grow into all it can be is one of my biggest blessings.

#5: Our trip to Puerto Rico. Jeremy and I are blessed to have all of our grandparents healthy and happy. That means there are an additional EIGHT people with over 7 decades of experience for us to learn and glean. (That’s over 560 years!) Six of these eight were able to be present at our wedding, but I insisted I had to meet the remaining two: Jeremy’s maternal grandparents. What an amazing trip to see the beauty of Puerto Rico, but more importantly, the relationship Jeremy has with his “Mama and Papa.” That is something I will remember forever. I will not soon forget Mama’s INCREDIBLE cooking either!

#4: Making our house our home. The end of 2015 brought the blessing of a home for our family and a gathering place for years to come. We have enjoyed opening it up to all those we love for dinners, parties, sleepovers, “hotel stays,” and storage. We continue to offer it back to God because we know He desires to use it for His plan and purpose. Potty training Lilly, hearing the pitter patter (okay, STOMPING) of the cousin’s feet while visiting, baseball in the back yard, and watching Jeremy mow the grass this summer in a flight suit and mask (“to avoid allergens”) are all ingrained as special first-year memories in our new home.

#3: Working hard to achieve excellence exactly where we are.

“And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ.” Colossians 3:23-24.

Jeremy will never tell you, but he has been on the Dean’s List every semester since he started working on his degree. Thankful to my workplace for honoring my work by nominating and giving me the award of Nurse Case Manager of the Quarter in November.

#2: Sweet cousin/family time. From weekends spent with Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, and Pops to weeks spent with cousins and aunts and uncles, we are especially grateful for a geographical location that allows us to hop in the car and see those close to us.

#1: Entering a new decade! Jeremy and I both turned the big 3-0 this year. After praying over our next ten years both individually, together, and as a family, we couldn’t be more expectant to step into this new season as a powerful force to be reckoned with! I am positive that we are entering the best 10 years of our lives so far and the best is yet to come!

Praying over and wishing you and yours a beautiful 2017!

*Nags Head Photograph: Rachael Hyde Photography

take me back.

I caught myself looking back through the Ponton/Rivera Family Vacation pictures last night. A couple weeks ago, my parents, brother, and our little Rivera family took a trip to Nags Head. We enjoyed precious time with each other, soaked up the sun, went on a few adventures, and made memories I’ve tucked away in a special part of my heart. What a blessing it was to get away and spend time right on the water with all those people I love most! I couldn’t help going back through and reminiscing about our time together. I found myself in awe at how quickly photos take me back to a moment or tell me the story of that day.

So… I’m trying something new. Instead of using my words to tell you a story, I’m going to give you our beach trip through my favorite pictures! … {and a few words because…well, it’s me and I LOVE words!}. For those of you still asking for beach pictures, this is for YOU! 🙂

The view from our condo was gorgeous! Just looking out of the window was enough to take me to my happy place.

Enjoying time with the “original” Ponton clan and thanking God for 29 years of family vacation memories! Cheers to many many more…with many many more additions! 😉 *Cough cough BEN!

Priceless moments with an incredible husband and two amazing kiddos! Love them all so much and am so thankful for our time together!

Getting to see Nana, Pa-Pa, and Unc’ Ben spend a significant chunk of time with Lilly and Jeremiah made for some sweet moments. We got blessed with some gorgeous weather and beautiful sunsets!

One of my favorites! We flew kites in the warm breeze of the evening sky. Watching my dad and Jeremy interact and teach the kids made my heart full. They did so well!

The things brothers will do for their sister’s entertainment… 🙂

Just some fun shots that I couldn’t help but share!

Counting our blessings each day and thankful for time to connect intentionally while enjoying one of my favorite pieces of God’s handiwork! What are some of your favorite memories or moments of vacation? Praying blessings over you and your family this summer!

An Open Letter To You, Mom.

Dear Mom,

When I was younger, everyone used to tell me our baby pictures looked just alike, our personalities were similar, and our eyes told our story before we could open our mouths. To be honest, it drove me crazy. I thought to myself, “I want to be my own person. I want to be different. I want to forge my own unique path in life.”

Then, a year and a half ago, I was preparing for my wedding and I realized I couldn’t get married without a piece of you to take with me as I walked down the aisle. I started to reflect on the last 28 years of my life and recognized that without you, I wouldn’t be me. So, I asked if you still had your wedding gown that you married Dad in over 30 years back. Miraculously, the gown was still in one piece and seemingly as beautiful as the day you wore it back in the 80s.

Without reservation, I asked my seamstress if she could incorporate your dress into my own wedding day. She suggested she take a few pieces of the lace on your gown and sew it into my veil… And I LOVED it! I loved that I would be stepping forward into this new season with a tangible piece of you with me. I couldn’t imagine doing it without you.

About a week into marriage, I quickly realized that lace was symbolically, just the cherry on an ice cream sundae you had been preparing for me since I was a newborn.

You see, there isn’t a day that goes by in my life that your influence in my life doesn’t manifest in some way. When I was school-age, I remember my room was a mess. (Imagine that!) I continued procrastinating as you consistently came to the door to encourage me along. Finally, towards the end of that Sunday afternoon, you said, “Honey, start in one corner. Do that one corner. When you finish that one corner, move on to the next one. You’ll be done before you know it.” You had a few options that day. You could have easily a) cleaned it for me or b) yelled until I cleaned it to make you shush up or c) not cared and let me leave it a mess. Instead, you got down on my level and used it as an opportunity to teach me a life lesson. To this day, I use that advice – and not just to clean my room, but to conquer life. You see, it’s really about bite-size pieces. It’s about finishing that one “corner” and moving to the next, never allowing a huge goal to intimidate me. If not for that advice, I wouldn’t have finished nursing school, moved to a different continent, learned to manage my finances, or have been courageous enough to continue pressing the envelope on my own life goals. However, I KNEW if I could just take one “corner” at a time, I could get where I wanted to go.

Then, in high school, my very strong-willed personality made one of it’s many debuts. When I was a senior, Dad was adamant about denying my participation in a specific social event and I (perhaps more disrespectfully than I care to admit) completely disagreed. I came to you and tried to get your sympathy. “Mom, isn’t this so unfair? Mom, how can you let Dad do this to me? He’s ruining my social life!” You simply responded, “I trust and believe in your father’s decision. Even if I may not completely agree, I made a promise to God that I would honor him and his decisions in our home.” I am positive you had no idea the impact that has had on my relationships with authority in the workplace, but especially in marriage. You were honest. You were transparent about your own feelings, but you still chose the path of humility and honor. I think of that night on my bedroom floor upstairs almost daily when I struggle with submission and always remember what you said about Dad.

Mom, you sacrificed so much for us. You found ways to work from home to spend more time with us. You traveled hours to see our softball/baseball/football/golf/volleyball games multiple times a week. You spent your weekends at tournaments in the blazing sun. You chose to work in our community as opposed to taking a job in the “big city” so you could be close to home if we needed anything. You showed me what it looks like to be a Godly woman who supports her husband no matter the circumstances. You never missed an opportunity to encourage me or spur me on to something greater. You loved me even when I pushed you away. You still answer the phone knowing you may not get a word in for at least 20 minutes while I gab your ear off. You model what it looks like to genuinely love people for who they are, not who I want them to be. You have been and continue to be the vessel that God uses to help me open my wings to fly.

So, in preparation for marriage, I insisted I have a physical piece of you with me in my veil as Dad walked me down the aisle, but now I recognize you have given me pieces of who you are over the last two decades and then some. I will always have a piece of you with me.

In this life, the biggest compliment someone could bestow on me is to say that I have turned out just like you – to “wife” like you, to mother like you, but most of all – to LOVE like you.

I love you Mom.

Happy Mother’s Day,

me

why I drove 7 hours to a wedding this weekend

 

3 {or 5} Reasons To Love Snow Days

Have you ever wondered what we look forward to during these lazy days watching the snow fall outside? I mean kids and grown-ups alike all hope for {a few} snow days! I know I’ve certainly anticipated this first snowstorm of the year! (*If you haven’t, you need to move to the beach ASAP.) This afternoon, I spent some time pondering why I wait impatiently for them each winter. Here are the top 3 reasons why I believe everyone should LOVE snow days {or at least appreciate them for all you Floridians}:

1. The pace slows down. Have you ever noticed right after the pace speeds up (think: Target or any grocery store right before the storm… or watch this), people start to slow down? They break out their books, hot chocolate, blankets, movies, and comfort foods. Snow provides an unspoken excuse to get out your favorite mug and sit down to enjoy the company of each other… or Netflix reruns…or both.
2. The pressure to be somewhere or do something significantly drops…well, because more than likely, no one else is doing anything either. The world around us never stops. The proverbial rat race continues. We always have somewhere to be, people to see, or something to do. Productivity MUST NOT STOP…until it snows. And then we have the greatest reason to sit down, put our feet up, and do {that thing you always want to do, but never make time to do}.
3. God’s beauty and power is on display outside every window. In reality, His beauty and power is always on display, but for whatever reason, snow has a special way of pushing pause on life and allowing us to sit in awe of His handiwork (literally, too!). I mean who or what completely paralyzes the capital of the free world quite like His 0.5 inch dusting over the roads? Who takes takes over every radio and television station with Their plan? I know Who. Sometimes I think God is flexing His muscles when He sends down snow because His love is so gentle, yet so fierce. That’s what the snow represents to me. Snowflakes? They’re delicate and beautiful. Blizzards? They’re strong and unrelenting. exactly like God’s love for us.

A couple extra reasons why snow days are amazing…I couldn’t help but include for fun:

• Comfort food tastes SO much better snuggled up in the coziness of our homes, watching the snowflakes fall outside. I’m making this! What is your comfort food of choice?
• You can sled and build snowmen, of course!

Here’s to you finding your own way to slow down, enjoy the people (and snacks) around you, and to soak up God’s love through His handiwork!

highlight reel 2015: reflections on a year of unexpected blessings.

Run YOUR race.

Every year on my birthday, I ask myself a few questions. (If you are my friend, you know I also ask them to you on your birthday as well.) The first one is, “What are my top three favorite memories from this past year?” It allows me to reminisce, but also take note of what meant the most to me the previous year. There is something about being reflective that helps to ground and guide me into the next year. My second question is, “What are three things I hope to do in this upcoming year?” This helps me to be proactive about goal setting, but also to remember every year is a GIFT and that we are called to be stewards of our time here on Earth. What better way than to be intentional about planning our time? I mean, people steward money by utilizing a budget to help them invest in the correct place. I believe we can transfer that concept and apply it to our time, helping us to invest it into the right people and tasks. The last question I ask is one that many may believe should be the very first question, but just hold on. I’ll explain. I ask God, “What do you have for me in this next year?” I intentionally place this one at the end for a couple reasons. First, by telling God what I want, my heart is transparent before Him. I am honest. He wants to hear my deepest cries and listens to them intently. Then, I open my ears to listen to Him. When He speaks, it helps me to see how the desires of my heart and His plan for my year align and differ. It gives me a gauge to measure how far away our paths may be and the work we need to do to get me on His track and not my track.

This year, when I asked God what He has for me in this next year (the last year of my twenties!), He responded, “Run YOUR race.” He gave me the verse Hebrews 12: 1-2 (MSG),

Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever.

I think so often our eyes are not on Jesus. Our eyes are actually on everything BUT Jesus. We are looking at our friend who already got promoted or our co-worker who just got engaged or the friend who is older than you who had a healthy baby on the first try or the couple who just bought a massive house or the college buddy who’s gallivanting all over the world or the mom who cooks only with organic food… thinking, “Why is that not me?” or “Why am I here and they are there?” You see, we have lost our focus. We have turned from asking God what He has for us to comparing our lives to the people around us. Newsflash: They have a different race. More than likely, they aren’t even on the same TRACK as you.

As a {semi} newlywed, I have learned this not only applies to individuals, but also to Jeremy and I as a couple. Let me tell you, our first year of marriage doesn’t look like the textbook. We have two children who live with us in different intervals. We have changed careers. We have started school. We have been unemployed {at the same time}. The list could go on and on, but the point is – Jeremy and I have had a choice to make: compare our life with that of others or ask God what our race looks like and never lose sight of where He has us headed. I would love to tell you I learned this after one comparison with another person or couple. Ha. It’s a daily encounter with God that reminds me of who I am, who Jeremy and I are together, and what road He has us traveling down to get to the place He wants.

So why do we choose to compare our lives with the lives of others around us?

1. We do not know our identity in Christ. We are made fearfully and wonderfully, uniquely made in His image. We {and our lives} were not made to look like our neighbor or co-worker or best friend or other couple. Ask God who you are so in moments when you look at others and feel lacking, you can quickly remind yourself of what God says.
2. People are easier to see. They are all around us from the moment we wake up until the moment our head hits the pillow. We are human and seeing God often requires us to be still, which we are not so great at doing… because there are people all around us. You see the circle we can get into? Break the cycle. Sit down with God away from people and ask Him what He thinks about your life. 
3. Social media allows us to see other people’s lives easier than ever before. And the majority of folks post happy moments, not the REAL moments, myself included. Who really wants to hear about the meltdown BEFORE the pumpkin patch? They want to see the kids smiling with orange all around them! Try taking a break from the Instagram.

Three years ago today, my friend and I ran the Marine Corps Marathon. I look back on that memory and think, “All I can remember was trying to keep my feet moving and getting to the finish line so I could sit down to have some chocolate milk.” God says, “Yup, you got the concept. Keep persevering and getting closer to me so you can sit down beside me at my right hand {with chocolate milk if you like}.” So this year, I will run MY race and I encourage you to do the same. Run YOUR race. I know there will be so many blessings to count along the way!

Why I Wear My “Doctor Stethoscope”

The last couple weeks, I’ve really been thinking about this video clip from “The View” in which two women hosting the show share a few quick, unfiltered comments about the nursing uniform worn onstage by Miss Colorado in the Miss America contest.

It has taken me a few days to gather my thoughts, but I finally realized what had me unsettled.You see, these condescending comments shared publicly to a {very} large audience focused mainly on the nursing attire, her scrubs, her “doctor stethoscope” – all part of Miss Colorado’s outward appearance. That made me start thinking about nursing in general and the many “outfits” we may wear. For example, in my decade of nursing in some form or fashion, I’ve worn scrubs, my Army uniform and combat boots, and now business casual attire. Oddly enough though, the same heart that brought me into nursing wearing scrubs is the same heart that wakes me up in the morning today to put on my cardigan and pumps. You see, it’s not about the scrubs or the stethoscope or any outward feature that defines our profession, but the heart that you can’t see underneath all of that. I believe Miss Colorado was attempting to show America her gift, her talent, and sometimes a lost art: the act of truly caring for another human being.

Miss Colorado’s story made me reminisce on some of my own favorite nursing stories and it inspired me to share one of my own with you as a giant step towards continuing to run with the torch Miss Colorado lit on the stage of the Miss America Pageant – to focus on the one talent that I believe can change the world: loving and caring for another person. As many of you know I was an Army Nurse Corps Officer right out of college. Below, is one of the stories I shared first over 6 years ago, one my first nursing experiences, and the reason why I wear my “doctor stethoscope.”

My day started with a patient coming on a plane from Iraq. For all intensive purposes, we’ll call him Jack. He was a 22 year old Infantry soldier who had his left leg blown off from an IED blast the day before. When he arrived, he had a tube helping him to breathe. Unfortunately he was awake with this tube, making him VERY uncomfortable. We bonded almost instantly because I was attempting to make him a little more comfortable. Because he couldn’t talk, I held paper for him to write what he needed from me. This was the FIRST time he had been awake since the explosion, so answering his questions proved to be extremely difficult and painful for both of us. The first question he wrote to me was, “how much of my leg did I lose?” The questions to follow included, “do my parents know?” and “where am I?” I knew this was going to be a VERY emotionally challenging day, but I felt prepared and ready. After the tube in his mouth came out, he was able to talk and he immediately began explaining the accident to me in full detail. He had a great sense of humor, and although was tearful throughout some parts of his story, was able to joke and laugh with me at times.

One of the hardest parts of the day came when the Department of the Army called and wanted a status update on the patient. As I answered the phone, I was shaky – but the guy on the other end was calm and asked me simple questions about Jack. Then, when I thought I was finished talking with him, I faced one of the hardest moments of the day, and honestly – in my life. The man on the line said, “I have Jack’s mother and father on the phone with me right now. Can you talk to them about their son?” I was so nervous, I was holding back tears. I was going to have to be the first person to tell them about the condition of their son, who is the same age as me…All I could think about was if MY parents were on the other end of the line. Thankfully, God blessed me with the words and the courage to make it through the conversation.

Afterwards, I went to Jack and told him his parents were on the phone. His eyes welled up, and he told me he wasn’t ready to talk…I held his hand until he was able to begin forming words and stayed with him as he told his parents the story NO mom or dad EVER wants to hear. As he cried, I just sat by his side and wiped away the tears gently, as his face was burnt from the fire and flash of the explosion. Throughout the day, we chatted and talked about his past, present, military career, and what he plans to do in the future. He kept such a positive attitude and was SUCH a champ as doctors came in to the room to prod and check his leg; not to mention all the assessments I was constantly doing. At the end of the day, as I was about to leave – he asked if he could e-mail me about his progress at Walter Reed with a prosthetic, etc. I said of course – and then turned to leave. He grabbed my hand and said, “THANK YOU MA’AM.” I turned back to him and said the same thing back, emphasizing how much HE had given already. I don’t tell you this story to make you feel sorry for me or him or to make you worry or to make you sad or sympathetic. I tell you this to share with you why I’m an Army nurse. People like HIM are why I joined the Army and soldiers like Jack are why I will continue loving my job. 

If you are a nurse or know a nurse, encourage them to #shareanursingstory with the world! We have an incredible calling. What a beautiful opportunity we have been given by Miss Colorado and The View – to share how we get to bless and be blessed in the meantime!

Unfinished

About four years ago, I made the decision to volunteer with teenagers at my church ranging in age from 12-18. To be honest, I’m not sure how I got into that specific ministry. Let’s be real. Working with babies would have been quite a bit easier since they a) can’t talk back and b) don’t ask super hard questions. I think one of my biggest challenges was the fact that most of these kids needed an extended period of time to warm up, to trust, and to test and see that we, as their leaders, were “normal.” They wanted to know they could rely on us. They wanted to know they could trust us with both their dreams and their fears. And as we all know, trust isn’t built in one weekend. In fact, it often took months of commitment to one student for them to get to a place where they were comfortable to share with us. I mean, I would love to tell you every teen I ever worked with came to see God’s love and made a decision to follow Jesus for the rest of their lives. Don’t get me wrong – many of them did, but not everyone. Students came and went and eventually, God called me away from the teenagers to another area within the church. As I stepped away, it felt as though this was a chapter of life that was unfinished… and that’s probably because it was: entirely unfinished.

This morning, approximately four years later, I received this text from a parent of one of those teens, “Thank you Kristina for sowing into my teens! Last night, they were baptized to reflect what God is currently doing in their lives.”  My eyes welled with tears. I shared this overwhelming moment of gratitude with God and He whispered, “You don’t always understand what I’m doing when you’re living in the moment, but later, I will help you to understand.” {John 13:7} In just one moment, He reminded me that those countless moments spent investing in teenagers were worth every second. He reminded me that we are simply His vessels. I made a simple choice to start volunteering, but He was (and is!) the one doing the work and that work He’s doing is far from finished. We often have no idea the impact we have on people, an organization, a family, or even eternity, but we can rest in knowing when we surrender to God, He will use us.

This forced me to reflect on my life right now. How often do I feel discouraged because I cannot see the end in sight? Or the results I want to see? Or the dreams come to pass that I have in mind? How often do I question my choices because I don’t have the instant gratification of seeing the end from the beginning? What about you? How often do you ask similar questions throughout the day? I decided to make a list of things that have helped me in the past to use on a rainy day and thought I’d share with you:

1. You’re doing better than you think you are. We are our own worst critic. Speak positively about yourself even when it’s self-talk! *If you’re not able to speak positively, phone a friend. I guarantee you they will point out the beauty in you and your situation. 
2. Just because we don’t see our end goal right now does not mean God is not working behind the scenes to make it pass. Keep going. I don’t know what it looks like for you in this season, but keep changing those diapers. Keep telling your 12 month old to say please what seems like 400 times a day. Keep waking up at 5am to get a workout in. Keep serving your husband. Keep using patience with your boss instead of sarcasm. Keep believing that the best is yet to come because it is!
3. The most memorable mountains in life are not those that we climb in a day. The memorable mountains are the ones that took weeks, months, and even years to reach. If you feel like the climb is taking longer than usual, I can assure you that the blessing on the other side is bigger than you could ever imagine.

God’s work is unfinished. Until the day He returns, He is still using us as His vessels to change the world and build His Kingdom. So just… keep going. And every so often, you’ll get one of my favorite gifts from God: the reminder that He’s still working, that He’s using our lives, and that He’s not finished with us yet.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9